Long time ago I wrote on this thing. Well, after some careful consideration, and some very nice comments by my friends, I have found my voice once again. Now, you wonder why it is that I have had to `find` my voice? It is true that when I was in South Korea, now a month ago I was fairly quiet. Fairly voice-less. Walking about three days ago, hiking from a city called Atami, to a town called Ito, I asked myself that question from above. Where was my voice? Not in the literal of course, but my emotional, my heart? It got lost in the neon of Busan, the complete lack of substance in Seoul, nearly finding itself in Incheon, when I lost it again in Busan before coming back to Japan ten days ago. Now, I definitely do not want to give the impression that Japan is the only country with which I get any kind of inspiration from. From thisn posting it may seem that way, but I have to reiterate that that is defintely not the case. I am writing in a tiny cafe in Kamakura so I don`t have the most time in the world as I originally thought that I could write a novel about my `voice` but I think it is a good thing that I don`t have forever to write this post. I was also originally going through my head in thinking that I would separate the cities of South Korea I visited for you to better get an understanding of my experience, but again with the idea of time bearing its weight on my ie. the dude behind me who runs the joint; I will spare the details, of which there are many and finally get to the point - my tiny voice.
So...why? I will tell you. When you leave Japan and cross the Sea of Japan, into Busan, South Korea you are leaving one culture and going into another. Simple, right? Of course! Why would it be otherwise? Because you have to experience it to believe it. South Korea contains all the elements of Canada, the United States, even Japan but without the retention of these elements. I was confused as well. Sorry. Anyway, the main lesson I have learned is the idea of `generalization.` To `generalize` is the worse sin one can commit. I met many ex-pats who believed they understood a culture simply by being there for three months, six months, even a year. The surface you can understand, of course. The way you get stared at, gawked at, leered at. When someone licks their fingers and tries to take off your tattoo`s when you`re trying to play cards (seriously) is a basic surface understanding of any culture with which you partake in, living or traveling. But the amount of foreigners in South Korea is actually apalling to me. Apalling...yes. Because I was surrounded by, staying with; hearing from; foreign voices that my own voice had become stifled. My neutral voice in which I wanted to experience was put to pasture until I came back to Japan. And, so I took their word for their word. As bond.
Part of this is my fault. You see, I allowed myself to be led like sheep to a basic understanding of Korean culture. But South Korea has all the wonderful amenities of our own culture in Canada. Internet cafe`s as far as the eye can see. I was told, not so nicely, by another Canadian with whom I stayed with in Busan that I hadn`t really seen Korea. Only the cities. True. I had only seen cities, but in my opinion, you see the most culture in big and small cities and towns, and not necessarily through the forests and the trees. At least I`m sticking to that in this argument. Internet allows you to disappear. To fall into your own world. I never believed it when I heard it but the internet cafe is a very dangerous beast in South Korea. Over here in Japan internet cafe`s are ONLY in big cities. I can with some authority dignify that statement. So apparently in South Korea kids lose themselves in these places, actually run away into them. Where junk food and War Craft is king. On the weekends these places were PACKED, to the rim with young and old all playing FIFA Online 2009, War/Star Craft etc. I was just watching episodes of LOST. But the parallel wasn`t lost on me.
Culturally, I was in a kind of lost zone. Somewhere between me and this country was not sympatico. Where was I to look? I walked, watched people, observed habits too. But I was feeling a kind of emptiness. One that I never, ever feel over here in Japan. Japan isn`t fair though because I have made this country, in some way or another, my life. Devoted as I am to it, I cannot make an unbiased judgement on South Korea. I will not be like some of those ex-pats from Amurica who think that they have it all figured out. So I will tred lightly on my opinions on South Korea, that is until I have visited again. But this I do know, that I was made to feel different. Yes, I look different with obvious examples. But, I was lucky enough to walk the streets of Busan with a friend I made from England via France via Africa. Her name was Benedicte and she is a black woman. So, picture this if you will, a beautiful black woman, and a tatooed greased haired white dude walking to have fish eat the dead skin off of our feet. People stared. And stared, and stared....etc. My point is, is that difference is not a virtue. I still don`t understand what it is that I am looking for when I recount my stories from South Korea. I guess, that when I left the cozy confines of the ex-pat community and walked into the cities of South Korea I felt like one of those lost kids in internet cafe`s. I just wanted to hide in the dark and watch LOST.
If I could re-do South Korea, I would. Just be by myself, alone and unfettered. Here in Japan you get stared at. And I will tell you that there is definite discrimination against foreigners, but I think I`m scary enough that I get left alone most of the time. But I have heard stories of people of colour, and other foreigners who live here for a very long time,who have felt the brunt of that discrimination. It doesn`t make the country any less beautiful, but one needs to understand the truth of every situation you enter yourself in. South Korea is a beautiful country. I recommend it highly. But be prepared to almost becomming a spectacle in a way. Unnerving as much as it was, I would never tell anyone not to go. It just wasn`t the best experience is all. Next time I guess.
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