Balancing Between Two Opposite Angles

Relationships are not simple. The definition of a relationship, in my humble opinion, is not based on sex and movies. You are constantly having relationships with every person you know. This is important as many people want to believe that the two types of relations you have with someone ie. friendships and sexual relationships, are somehow fundamentally different. They are not. We only do this in order to put barriers between ourselves, our friends and lovers. The reality is that we are always in flux, always moving in our relationships, so that when something new occurs, something that we hadn't "planned on" we tend to get stuck. This makes us unhappy. When you are truly able to let that surface frustration go, only then can you fully appreciate the idea and reality of whatever situation you are in with that significant other. Some of my most intimate and amazing relationships have been with those considered "friends." But what of this? Friends can be lovers, can be something more than what we have been told all along should only be "friends." What of these parameters? What of these boundaries and borders that have, or have been decided for us? True expression is our most fundamental value as human beings. We are constantly told by those close to us, or by the mediums we enjoy and embrace, that we shouldn't be too loud, or too questioning or too cerebral when it comes to our relationships. Why shouldn't one express oneself in a way that makes their hearts sing. By denying ourselves do we not clog our way of thinking? It is in the most simple of things which we can truly see what each of us are really looking for. In ourselves and in our relationships.

I have an example that I would like to share. Mike and I were training over at Cherry Beach a little over a week ago. The two of us have been feeling down lately and Mike decided that the warm weather Toronto has been having should be appreciated. It is not often in January that we can enjoy a bit of warmth in this grey city. So we hit a tree with some stick work, in order to get the blood pumping, our hands aching, and to generally appreciate what we have. Nothing better than hitting wood on wood, metal on metal, flesh to flesh. It's strangely animal and wonderful. Liberating. So, we decided to work on footwork and Mike came up with the idea of drawing lines in the dirt, in which I added that they should be strangely shaped in order for us to adjust our distance. Altering our footwork as we moved Mike was on one side of the line, I on the other. We did it and it was difficult but, as it always does it would test us physically as well testing our minds. The main point of this exercise was an attempt to explore the synergy of the other person. As this person moves towards you, away from you, you should never get nervous or think too much in how your partner would react to this or that. In essence your relationship with your partner, regardless as to who or what that person is to you on the surface, is understood through feeling and movement. By straddling a line in the dirt with sticks or with empty hands or by just following the line we were questioning the ideals of our own relationships outside of Cherry Beach. I took the exercise as a way to feel good about my relationships with others that are sometimes confusing, at times frustrating. But when you look, or hold, or talk to that person whomever they may be to you, you must trust your instincts. Never think too much, and always be true to yourself.