The First Six Weeks

Here is something interesting. When you are away, and living a very fluid life, you forget certain things. Certain things you forget. For instance...the fact that home can be a burden, as well as an island where you are free to frolic and do whatever you feel is right. Emotions tend to run amok as well, as one settles into their new old life away from the new and old. I am tired. There is a tendency to walk by mirrors and see the reflection which looks back at you, and you smile. I smile at my reflection. Reflection tends to be the order of the day, well...rather, the order of the weeks. I have had the opportunity to see my friends open up to me, and for me to really and truly get really close to those i care so deeply about. Others, have tended to disappoint. Not really a great thing, but not a bad thing either. I am a very sensitive man. I tend to blow shit out of proportion on very little sleep and not enough to eat. I am human. But then again, I am true to myself and to my standards of how people should be treated and treat me. For that I am unapologetic. But I feel that if I was to be a real man, it would be to accept my folly's and to keep flowing like I did the first seven months. I told Matty today that I feel as if I am still wandering. That I have not stopped walking, and that, my lovers is a very good thing. No matter how hard, and how much hurt is laid at my feet, I can't really sacrifice who I am as a person. Originally, I had planned to write on this blog when I was back in Toronto, things that either pissed me off, or inspired me. I never wanted this to be an online diary, yet only a few know of its existence, so fuck it. I love my friends...even the ones I'm not talking to at the moment. You are in my thoughts.